Online Dating: Do Unto Others

Do you remember the golden rule from Sunday school? "Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you."

Nowhere is the golden rule more appropriate than with respect to online dating. Here are a few "Do Unto Others" rules with regard to online dating:

Rule #1 -
Be honest. Be honest about everything that matters. Your height, your weight, the fact that you’re actually bald (which should be apparent in your picture), etc. All of that type of stuff does matter.

Rule #2 -
Include a picture. I would never communicate with anyone who didn’t include a picture, because in my experience, someone who doesn't want me to see a picture of them, has something to hide.

Often, I would be contacted by women who were let’s say, less than attractive. They would
never include a picture, then expect that the explanation that “I wanted you to get to
know my personality first” would get me to keep talking to them. Why should she get to pick me
out by my picture, but I should get to know her personality first? Did she give me that
option? Ladies, if a man says that he wants you to get to know his personality before you
see what he looks like, RUN. And the same goes for you men. If you get that from a
woman, RUN. Run far, and run fast!

Rule #3 -
Make sure that picture is RECENT. Don’t waste time uploading a picture of you 30 pounds or 20 years ago. That’s not fair. Do you know what will happen if you do that? He or she may well tell you exactly what they think of what you did, no holds barred. Let’s face it, honest online
daters are really getting sick of dealing with the dishonesty online. It sucks. There should
be some kind of dishonesty police for those daters. They should be banned or something.

Rule #4 -
If you’re a man over say, 35-ish, nobody’s interested in your corvette. Don’t email
her a picture of your car. That’s actually a no-no at any age. And she’s not interested in the designer names on your shirt labels either. Telling her this, tells her that you’re shallow. Would you like it if she subjected you to endless chatter about her Jimmy Choos? Nobody cares. Keep it to yourself.

Rule #5 -
Don't be a downer. Who wants to be around someone who talks about nothing but his/her problems? I mean, we all have some, but when I ask someone, "how are you?" I don't want to hear about her sore back, or her bad feet, etc. Be upbeat. Who doesn't want to be with a positive person?

These are just a few. I'll be back with more!

Here's to great dating!

Chris.

Copyright 2006 Chris A. Cameron All Rights Reserved

One Hard, Online Dating/Blind Dating Rule

Online dating is no longer the pariah that it was back in say, 2000. Almost every single person I know has tried it between then and now. Hell, I’ve even tried it. It’s not as bad as some say it is.

As far as I’m concerned, there is one hard rule when it comes to online dating, and I’ll let you in on it shortly.

Let me tell you first, about a friend of mine.

I have one friend who was so jaded with regard to relationships and dating, that she had been single for about 3 years. Her past experiences with men were so negative, that she’d rather not risk getting into another relationship with anyone. Her last boyfriend would go to the bar, and once he was good and liquored up, he would call her from there to let her know that she should move out of their apartment, because he had found someone else. Every other time that he went to the bar, he would do this. And yet, she stayed with him. This was not someone that she found online. This was someone that she knew from work, and had begun dating.

After finally breaking up with him (she stayed with him for 3 years), she decided that she would rather be single than be involved with men again, who, in her opinion, were all basically dishonest cheats.

After 3 years of literal celibacy, she decided that maybe she should get over her general distrust of men, and I convinced her to try online dating, because I had done it for awhile, and hadn't yet found "the one", but I met some really nice people.

On my friend’s first date, she thought that she might be a tad late, so she called this dude to let him know that. As it turned out, she was right on time, but as she got to the restaurant, she received a text message from him saying that he was in the parking lot, and that she should call him when she entered the store (coffee shop). Red flag #1. In our conversation about this, she distinctly asked me, “Do you think that’s weird?” To which I replied, “Don’t YOU think it’s weird? You should.”

This guy also said in his profile that he was 6’0” tall. When he came into the coffee shop, it turned out that he was much closer to 5’8” than six feet. Red flag #2. She ignored it because she thought they got along so well. That should have been the only time that she met him. Remember this about online dating; someone who lies about something as obvious as his/her height or weight, will lie about anything.

On their second date, she went to his house to watch a movie. At which time, he told her that he had guns at his place (that she never saw), because he used to be a security guard. Then, he told her that he’s also in the British Army, and that’s also why he has guns. Okay people, we don’t live anywhere near Britain. Red flags #3 and #4!! Then she asked me if I thought he was being truthful. I was astounded. I wanted to reach out and shake her! Do you want to know why she actually decided to stop seeing this dude? Because he doesn't like Oprah! All of that other nonsense was acceptable to her, but dude doesn't like Oprah, and she dumps him!

The one hard rule about online dating? Follow your gut. Obviously, my friend was skeptical about whether or not this dude was telling the truth. She had that feeling in her gut, but chose not to follow it. Thank God he told her that he doesn't like Oprah, or who knows how much she would have put up with.

Follow your gut. If something doesn’t seem right, run. Run far, and run fast. Don’t look back. If a woman tells you on your first date that she’s on medication for depression, run. Not to sound unsympathetic, but if she’s giving you that information on the first date, what else is there to find out?

If after your first date, the other party calls you on your way home, to ask, “Well, what did you think? Do you think we’re a match?” Run. And keep running.

Follow your gut. I can’t say it enough. If it just doesn’t feel right, run.

Here’s to great dating!

Chris A. Cameron

Copyright 2006 Chris A. Cameron All Rights Reserved.